Papa and Daddy and Babies in Alaska

Links


Resources and links from Papa and Daddy and Babies in Alaska, as related by Gary.

Family Planning

To learn more about in vitro fertilization, John and I took the IVF Tour at the Pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco.

We were screened to ensure that we had viable sperm and no STDs. We also banked our sperm. We did it all at Pacific Reproductive Services, a lesbian-owned sperm bank in San Francisco.

It's essential to have good legal advice when you're planning a family. Our experience with Deborah Wald of the Wald Law Group was very positive.

Our top consideration in choosing an egg donor was her intelligence. A Perfect Match was a perfect fit for us.

We wanted to make sure we didn't choose baby names that were too popular. I checked with the Social Security Administration's Office of the Chief Actuary, which tracks the 1000 most popular baby names of every year since 1880.

Newborn Care

Zola and Veronica were born at Providence Alaska Medical Center and spent almost three months in the NICU. John and I stayed at Providence House, our home away from home. The history of Providence goes all the way back to the Alaska Gold Rush.

Neonatology on the Web is a rich resource for learning about the branch of medicine devoted to the tiniest of patients.

WWAMI helps Alaska and other northwestern states grow their own doctors. Alaska's OMB tracks the success of the program.

Every newborn has blood screened for a variety of genetic conditions which are curable or manageable if caught early enough, and fatal or debilitating if not. The National Newborn Screening and Genetics Resource Center tracks which tests are required by which states. You owe it to your newborn to find out whether your state is one of the laggards and to make sure that adequate testing is performed. The American College of Medical Genetics recommends screening for 29 "core" conditions . The March of Dimes endorses that and tracks which states screen for those conditions. Meanwhile, a government committee has been meeting since 2004 to come up with a national standard.

In April 2008, the National Institutes of Health released a study of babies born after 22 to 25 weeks' gestation, and the factors which contributed to their survival. You can find more information about the study here, along with a calculator to estimate a baby's probability of survival, given its sex, gestational age, and other factors.

Quality of Life

The San Francisco FrontRunners is the oldest LGBT running club in the country. It has spawned FrontRunner clubs in cities throughout the United States and around the world . Zola, Veronica, John and I are long-time members. We have all made life-long friends at FrontRunners.

John and I are long-time subscribers to Berkeley Repertory Theater. When the girls get older, we'll take them, too.

We support the Homeless Prenatal Program here in San Francisco.

Joseph Schmidt Confections makes our favorite truffles. Their store is right in our neighborhood in San Francisco.

A terrific local specialty grocery store in Anchorage is New Sagaya, with live fish and crabs, where I bought many gourmet pizzas, drank great coffee, and shopped for chocolate and fresh fruit. Please open a branch in San Francisco!

My absolute favorite marathon is the Humboldt Redwoods Marathon. The race, which also includes a half-marathon and 5K, is among redwoods, and we camp in a redwood grove. Magical.

I bought "Bad Girls of the North" T-shirts at one of their craft fairs in Anchorage. John and I wore those shirts when we flew home to San Francisco, and also when we got married. Zola and Veronica are our bad girls of the north.

Andy Borowitz makes me laugh every day with his funny news parodies. You can subscribe to them!

Soundtrack

"Break Up to Make Up" from the album Round 2 by The Stylistics. I changed the lyrics to help me remember how a baby should be put to bed.

"9 to 5" from the album 9 to 5 and Odd Jobs by Dolly Parton. I changed the lyrics here, too, for the same reason.

"Language" from the album A Wild and Crazy Guy by Steve Martin. Steve jokes about how the French have a different word for everything, and I draw a comparison to the medical establishment.

"Hit Me with Your Best Shot" from the album Crimes of Passion by Pat Benatar. I changed the title of the song in a section of the book where the subject is nipples.

"The Hokey Pokey" written by LaPrise/Macak/Baker. This song perfectly describes how we washed Veronica and Zola.

"A Bicycle Built for Two" written by Henry Dacre. I regularly sang to Veronica and Zola when I held them. Veronica, especially, was calmed and captivated by this song. I sang it over and over and over.

"One of Us" from the album The Visitors by ABBA. John and I were inspired to change the lyrics to this song when we noticed that the girls' diapers needed changing.

"O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps. You can find a remastered version on this compilation album The First Family of Soul: The Best of the Five Stairsteps. John was inspired to change the lyrics to this song after Veronica spit up on him one too many times.

Papa's Lullaby is a CD in which fathers sing lullabies in different languages. We play it every night when the girls go to bed. It was a gift from nurse Ann.

Book and Video Library

Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book by Dr. Seuss. My mind wanders to a story in this book as I try to make sense of what nurse Ann is telling me about a long nerve in the body.

Brideshead Revisited miniseries, from the book by Evelyn Waugh. It's my favorite miniseries ever.

A Clockwork Orange movie by Stanley Kubrick, from the book by Anthony Burgess. The girls' eye exams remind me of a scene from the movie.

The Vagina Monologues DVD from the book by Eve Ensler. A scathing article written by my favorite columnist, Mark Morford, alerts me to a proclamation by George Bush. I get upset and invoke a line from Eve Ensler's play. If you like Mark's article, you can subscribe there, too.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare. I am reminded of a scene in this play as I listen through a stethoscope to the cauldron sound of the girls bowels.

The Emperor's Embrace: Reflections on Animal Families and Fatherhood by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson. This book was a gift from nurse Bernice and her family. It's about the good and bad fathers of the animal world. We strive to emulate the good ones.