Papa and Daddy and Babies in Alaska

Synopsis

Background Check: The reader is introduced to John and Gary, how they met and decided to have children.

The Quest: John and Gary decide to have children via surrogacy, find an agency to make it happen, and select a surrogate and an egg donor. IVF and the surrogacy process are explained. Names are chosen. The first pregnancy attempt fails. The second one succeeds, but complications arise. They fly to Anchorage for the premature birth.

Call Me Papa – Babies in Alaska: Zola and Veronica are born at the end of August. At 26 weeks, they are more than three months premature. Will they live? The girls are started on caffeine to help them focus on breathing. They settle into their new environment and meet nurses Ann and Robin, who will shepherd them on their NICU journey.

Call Me Papa 2 – Sign Here: John and Gary can’t both be listed on the birth certificates as the parents, but they make sure that Gary goes on the birth certificates as the father, and that the hospital uses their chosen last name, not the surrogate’s, for their daughters.

Call Me Papa 3 – Breathless: Zola must be placed on a machine (CPAP) to help her breathe. Lung research at chemical weapons labs in the 1950’s leads to discoveries that dramatically improve preemie survival by the 1990’s. Veronica benefits. Gary begins learning how to help care for his daughters. He goes for a walk and meets a moose family. He adapts songs by Dolly Parton and The Stylistics to help him remember baby-care advice.

Call Me Papa 4 – The One You Love: Gary meets someone who fled her old life to escape her abusive husband. He is mistaken for a cancer patient. Zola is off CPAP; Veronica on.


Call Me Papa 5 – Kangaroo You: Gary learns about kangarooing and experiences the joys of holding his girls. Zola goes back on CPAP. Veronica gets a blood transfusion. Gary finds similarity between the oxygen monitor and E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial.

Call Me Papa 6 – Don’t Go Binky on Me: Veronica is given a Vitamin A shot. For pain management, her phallic preemie pacifier is dipped in sugar water. The girls sleep with Papa- and Daddy-scented cloths to aid in bonding. The incubator is explored.

Call Me Papa 7 – Heinous Anus: While explaining the feeding tube, Ann tells Gary about a nerve which goes from the brain to the anus, and how its stimulation can cause apnea. In his struggle to make sense of what she’s telling him, Gary’s mind wanders from Dr. Seuss to O.J. Simpson, to Anita Bryant. He finds out about a program that helps Alaska grow its own doctors. The CPAP nozzles dent the girls’ noses.

Call Me Papa 8 – Nick-U: There is so much to learn about his daughters’ treatment, that Gary feels as if he were auditing classes at a medical school. He competes in a race and injures his foot. He kangaroos Veronica and oxygen alarms go off. Too much oxygen can blind preemies. It took many years for the medical community to recognize this.

Call Me Papa 9 – Babies Unplugged: Gary goes on a road trip with Sister Pat. He relates a bit of the history of the hospital - Sisters and Gold Rush! The girls need less invasive care. They’re off CPAP!


Call Me Papa 10 – Attack of the Rabid Squirrel: Zola has a major event and must go back on CPAP. Gary’s preconceptions of Anchorage do not match the reality. What a great place!

Call Me Papa 11 – Termination Dust: First snow. The girls are moved to a private room and require less intensive care. Zola’s monster poop promotes her to bigger diapers.

Call Me Papa 12 – Got Nipples?: The girls had no nipples when they were born. Now Gary notices the faintest hints of nipple. Zola’s off CPAP. Gary ponders the identity of a statue on the hospital grounds.

Call Me Papa 13 – Bathing Beauties: John and Gary give the girls their first baths and attend a NICU reunion. Gary discovers the Cuddle Corps. The girls are blood doping. Zola goes on and off CPAP.

Call Me Papa 14 – Rage Against the Machine: John and Gary strenuously object when Zola is ordered back on CPAP… and they succeed. They arrange it so that the nurse involved in that order is not assigned to their daughters again. The girls stay off CPAP for the rest of their stay. It’s Permanent Fund Distribution time – every resident in Alaska is sent a check. John and Gary learn how to bottle-feed.

V & Z Pix: Photographs

Call Me Papa 15 – The Eyes Have It: The girls’ eyes are checked, in a scene reminiscent of A Clockwork Orange. Gary writes about genetic screening of newborns and the lack of a national standard. Something about John says “science nerd” - strangers ask questions.

Call Me Papa 16 – Vampire Babies Want to Go Home: John records a story about two little girls trying to go home. He also describes the home that is waiting for them. Listening to his voice helps the girls’ bonding and development.

Call Me Papa 17 – Pepsi Generation?: A new mother attempts to give her newborn Pepsi. The girls move to an open crib, abandoning the incubators for good. They maintain their body temperature without help. (First condition of release!) Baby massage is learned.

Call Me Papa 18 – My Cup Runneth Over: Gary rhapsodizes over the perils of bottle feeding. John and Gary go on a road trip to the Kenai peninsula. They sing about dirty diapers to the tune of an ABBA song.


Call Me Papa 19 – Two Peas in a Pod: Ann makes a Halloween costume for the girls. Veronica is breathing on her own without caffeine and has had no apnea incidents. (Her second condition of release!) John and Gary set a departure date. John searches for the aurora borealis.

Call Me Papa 20 – Testy: The days are getting shorter, and so is Gary’s temper. Retired nurses aren’t given health insurance! John and Gary find out the girls are going to need monthly $1,000 shots when they get home. The girls take all their nutrition by bottle. (Veronica’s third and last condition of release; Zola’s second!)

Call Me Papa 21 – Gone Home – Babies Out of Alaska: Zola shows that she can breathe on her own without caffeine. (Zola’s third and last condition of release!) The girls are discharged after John and Gary pass a final test to make sure they can properly care for them. A dear friend dies a senseless death. The surrogate has them over for dinner with her family. John, Gary, Zola, and Veronica fly home to San Francisco in time for Thanksgiving.

We Got Married in a Fever: John and Gary marry at City Hall in San Francisco. The girls continue to thrive. Gary’s mother puts a bigot in his place. John nicknames Veronica “Spew Child”, and adapts a Five Stairsteps song.

One Step Back: Veronica has a medical emergency.

Veronica’s Fine: She comes through it, but a price has been exacted.

Call John Daddy – We are Family: The California Supreme Court rules John and Gary’s marriage illegal. John formally adopts the girls. Zola and Veronica are introduced to real food.

Appendix A – How Much Did it Cost?: A lot!

Appendix B – Marriage Protection Week 2003: President Bush issues a proclamation.

Appendix C – Shut Up and Say “I Do”: Mark Morford, in his inimitable way, ridicules the President’s proclamation.